The temptation of the critical voice

Each of us has an inner critic. There is no way to grow up in our society without having developed this inner critical voice – which comes from parents, teachers, peers, the media, and from our own conclusions.

The problem is that this inner critic sounds like a voice of authority when in reality it doesn’t know what it is talking about. It is a voice based on beliefs that have been handed down through generations but that have no basis in fact.

How often has this voice said to you:

“You can’t do it. You are inadequate.”

“You are stupid and ugly.”

“If he (or she) rejects you, it is because you are not okay.”

“You had better do it right. If you don’t, everyone will know that you are a fraud.”

“It is NOT okay to make a mistake.”

…and so on.

This inner critic speaks with such authority that it is tempting to believe what it says. Yet is knows only lies. It knows nothing of who you really are.

When this voice is criticizing you, it is criticizing the “you” that it thinks you are – your ego wounded self. The critic, having come into being to help you survive and protect you from rejection, long ago decided that who you really are is not good enough. When you experienced judgment or rejection from the important people in your life, you likely concluded that you were being rejected because you weren’t good enough or lovable enough or worthy enough or smart enough or attractive enough…and so on. You may have had no idea when you were being judged or rejected, rather than loved and accepted, that it actually had nothing to do with you. You probably had no idea that you cannot CAUSE another person to be judgmental or rejecting, or loving and accepting. You likely had no idea that others’ behavior is not under your control.

If you believed that you were causing others to judge or reject you, you may have decided that who you really are is not good enough. So you started to judge and reject yourself as you attempted to create a “self” that would be loved and accepted. The inner critic – your ego wounded self – is the self you created. You came to believe that if you judged yourself enough, you would make yourself into an acceptable person.

The problem is that none of this is true. There never was anything wrong with your true Self, your essence, your soul. It was, and is, a perfect expression of the Source from which we are all a part.

When your wounded self is criticizing you, it is criticizing your looks, your intelligence, or your performance. But none of this is who you are.

Who you are – what is truly worthy, lovable and valuable about you – is your ability to love. Not how you look, not how smart you are, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Your true Self is an individualized expression of God (or whatever you want to call our Source), and God is Love.

Next time you hear the authoritative voice of your inner critic, instead of giving that voice credence, stop listening to that voice. Treat that voice with compassion, like a child who acts like it knows everything. Instead of acting on that voice, open instead to the voice of your true Self – the voice of Truth.

Do this simply by asking, with a deep desire to learn, “What is the truth?” Your Higher Self will answer you. This Self is the true voice of authority, even though it may be much softer and gentler than the loud voice of your inner critic.

Each time you hear the critical voice, ask your Higher Self “What is the truth?” If you take action based on the Truth rather than on the false beliefs of your inner critic, you will find yourself feeling so much better in so many ways!

Double or triple your time

Why do some say that time is much more important than wealth? Nearly all biographies and self-help books, by top leaders and speakers from the past decades, all focus on time as being the most important resource available. When we manage our use of time, through self-mastery, success is a natural product of that effort. Success becomes the harvest we reap.

Proven Technique Number 1 - Delegate and assign simple routine tasks to other people.

If you have a home business, consider hiring a temp to deal with book entry. Most people don't need a full time employee and the time you save allows you to focus on building your vision. This is very elementary but of great significance. If you have the money, hire people to do the housework, the repairing, and even some of your other office jobs. Let others do the research. But of course, you have to reward them accordingly so they will be motivated to render their services again. There are also web sites dedicated to connecting you with the talent you need to complete projects. Use their skills to fulfill your dreams.

Proven Technique Number 2 - Plan

Begin with the end in mind is a popular phrase and it represents a very important principal. The less time you think you have, the more critical it is for you to plan. By planning carefully, you'll be able to manage your time better and avoid costly mistakes that eat up even more of your time.

Can you imagine an archery competition where there are no targets? How would the archer know if he or she hit anything, or even came close? Too often we treat our lives and our businesses as though the target is unimportant.

You might say that you're so busy you don't even have time to plan. That's usually a sign that you need to take time to plan more than anyone else. The payoff is the ability to see your entire project holistically and see efficiencies in tasks and perhaps areas where you can hire out.

Your plan is like a road map. Spend enough time to ponder through the different approaches and activities, and you will soon realize that you can save a lot more time by doing this. Make sure you are going towards the right goal and check your plan from time to time to make sure you haven't driven off then road.

Choose a quiet place to make your plan and let your mind focus on this important process.

Every individual has a unique perception of a well-made plan. There are no specific rules in making it. Here are some tips which you can apply to your own system.

1. Write down your objective. This is a precise definition of your target.

2. Brainstorm the strategies & tactics you will employ to accomplish your objective.

3. Assess the advantages & disadvantages of carrying out those strategies & choose those tactics where the pros outweigh the cons.

4. Set a timeline or deadline in completing your mission.

5. Make modifications & back-up plans in case Plan A doesn't work.

6. Learn from the evolution of your plan. It's from this experience, and comparison to your original plan, that you will gain skills and talent.

The most important time management tip of all is to take action immediately. If your time is that important, then don't waste it by sitting around or over planning. Determine your course and move. You can always make course corrections as you move along.

How to successfully overcome life s challenges

We all experience various challenges in life. Maybe we have to figure out how make our next rent payment. You may be dealing with depression or anxiety. Perhaps you’re having relationship or job issues? A worst-case challenge might be dealing with the death of a loved one.

The first step in dealing with any challenge is to recognize the issue. Recognizing a challenge isn’t so hard with some issues. For example, you don’t need to do a lot of soul searching to realize next month’s rent is due, and you don’t have the money for it in the checking account.

Some issues do require recognizing the challenge. Alcoholism is a good example. Most alcoholics live in denial and don’t recognize the challenges they face. Many challenges have negative associations. Who wants to be labeled addicted or an alcoholic? Even though society seems to have become more accepting of such challenges, there’s still a personally felt stigma to avoid.

Once you’ve recognized the challenge, there are additional steps you can take to overcome the challenge. One important step is to talk about your challenge with others. Discussing your issues with others has a number of benefits. First off, it helps define the problem and how it affects you. Open discussion can also help you relieve your own internal stress about the issue.

Talking about the challenge with others allows you to get their insight into the issue and potential solutions to the challenge. If the challenge is a medical issue or mental health problem, you most definitely will want to talk to a medical professional. For addictions, organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

Discussing the issues allows you to follow through with another step you can take to overcome the challenge – dealing with the emotions associated with the problem. For example, at the loss of a loved one, you need to allow yourself to grieve. Holding in emotions is destructive and can cause additional mental and even physical problems owing to the undue stress.

Once you’ve recognized the challenge, discussed it with others, and allowed yourself time to deal with the emotions corresponding to the challenge, it’s time to look into solving the problem associated with the challenge. One way you can look at solutions is to research how others have dealt with similar challenges.

Another way might be to ask for assistance with finding a solution through either discussing the issue with a professional (medical professional, clergy, mental health professional, etc.) or with someone who can give you insight into a solution. Often times, you’ll find that a person who is less involved with the challenge can give you a more apparent perspective on the issue because they’re not emotionally invested in the problem and can think more clearly on the topic.

If the challenge is something where you can find a practical solution, then you should act on it. There are some issues you might not be able to solve immediately. For example, you can’t do anything about the death of a love. You can, however, look into additional ways to earn money for that overdue rent.

Some issues may be solvable but difficult to solve. You might not be able to immediately stop an addictive behavior, but on the other hand, you can certainly begin the process with the appropriate guidance and behavior changes.

Nicotine in cigarettes addictive or not

The debate continues between medical experts and rehabilitation specialists as to whether or not nicotine in cigarettes is actually an addictive substance.

Many people are unaware of the hotly debated topic of nicotine as a n addictive substance. Some experts claim the substance is ‘only’ a psychological addiction, while other specialists claim it is in fact a physiological affliction.

I was once contacted by a professional hypnotist who rebuked me for my assertion that I had overcome a nicotine addiction. He proudly touted the “fact” that nicotine is not a bodily addiction and that my commentary on the issue was unethical.

This notion is hilarious really.

I admit a little research will turn up mixed opinions on the issue.

For instance in 1996 top executives of leading tobacco companies made public claims downplaying the idea of nicotine as a physically addictive chemical. And numerous independent scientific studies have suggested that nicotine is either not the only addictive substance in cigarettes, or that this chemical only causes psychological dependency and no real physical addiction.

On the other hand, In February 2000 the Royal College of Physicians published a report on nicotine addiction which concluded that “Cigarettes are highly efficient nicotine delivery devices and are as addictive as drugs such as heroin or cocaine.”

I’d actually like to take this article away from the flawed debate of “physical vs. psychological” and make a more relevant point. It makes no difference what scientists are able to prove in a lab at this stage, we all know smoking is a habit that becomes an obsession, and this obsession has killed millions of people.

More importantly for the purposes of this article, numerous surveys have concluded that 80% (or more) of all smokers express a desire to quit, but say they have tried without success on multiple occasions. If that’s not an addiction I frankly don’t know what is.

All this talk about mental addiction, bodily addiction, etc. is totally moot. Quantum physics has done a fabulous job of proving the role of mind in actually creating the physical circumstances in an individual’s life.

With this in mind, the whole debate presented by tobacco company executives and hypnosis marketers loses all footing as far as I’m concerned.

However you wish to slice it, smoking is an addiction. It’s extremely difficult to break this deadly habit, and only those individuals with serious intention, a rock solid plan, and a great support network are likely to achieve the ultimate goal of smoking cessation.

How initiation into spirituality creates magical changes in your personal growth

As a teacher of esoteric studies, I have the honor of conducting Initiations once or twice every year. This is an obscure and greatly misunderstood concept for most people. Plus modernization has gradually killed off many traditional rites of passage.

Some everyday Initiations you may already be familiar with:

Christening. Baptism. Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Induction into any institution. Your first day of school. University Matriculation Day. Graduation Day. The rigorous training of the armed forces. The first day of a new job. Joining the local Golf or Rugby Club. The Freemasons. American Fraternity Houses. The Mile High Club.

In a new job, the Initiation may be simply learning the ropes, being taught procedures, where to put your coffee mug and what time the “in crowd” work till. You usually get a special “tome” full of arcane laws and guidelines that no one really ever reads. There may even be a joining fee.

History shows that medicine, physics, chemistry, reading, mathematics, writing, astronomy and anatomy were all at one time “occult” secret arts. In the modern world, you were probably initiated into most of those before you were 16 years old.

Definition from The Oxford Dictionary:

Initiation [v] – to begin and admit a person with introductory rites into secrets, mysteries or science. Latin root “initium” means “to begin”. So it’s a rite of passage ceremony, which signifies the transformation of an individual into a higher, more desired level of identity.

Initiate [n] – the person who has been initiated

Imagine you want to join an exclusive members-only social club. You can walk up to the building, but the people on the door will usher you away unless you’re a member. However, if you have a friend who is already a member, you will walk up the steps together and will be given a warm reception. Now you have access to higher powers [in this case the social, economic and prestige benefits of club membership] as well as the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual changes initiation brings about.

Now if you don’t have a friend who’s already a member, the alternative is to keep going over to the club, getting your face known, trying to schmooze the doorman and occasionally peeking through the window to see what’s going on inside. The way people do that is by reading books and trying things out haphazardly.

Unfortunately enlightenment doesn’t come from books – it is experience alone that brings realization.

Initiation gives you membership, companionship with like-minded individuals and access to deeper and broader levels of insight and power. In many systems, it is believed that many of your new contacts will be previous Initiates who are no longer with us. Initiation gives you nothing in tangible terms. Instead, it allows you to begin a particular system or practice.

Practical training involves:

• Training the physical body – a regimen of toughening, strengthening and purifying. This is usually achieved through exercises, breathing, and postures.

• Learning how to control your emotions. Feel the full range of positive and negative. Be able to accept and release the painful, and bask in the pleasant. Never be at the beck and call of involuntary emotion.

• Training the mind to focus on what you want and to eliminate the “noise”. Train up the laser-like focus. Develop discipline and single mindedness on your outcome. This is one purpose for ritual and ceremony. You’ll soon learn if you have the discipline to practice every single day. Learn how to and consistently practice meditation – stillness of the mind.

• Conscious knowledge of logic and philosophy giving you the full range of thinking on all logical levels, as recommended by Aristotle.

• Develop and utilize the imagination. What the mind can conceive it can achieve. All physical manifestation first requires the spark of creativity.

Science starts with reference experience data then searches for principles to explain it. Experiment leads to knowledge. “I’ll believe it when I see it”. Proof is required to prove something is real.

Esoteric study begins with the guiding principles, then watches for reference experiences to back them up. Knowledge leads to experiments. “I’ll see it when I believe it”. Faith is required to know something is real.

A spiritual initiation is therefore the process through which a student is given access to deeper layers of knowledge and practice [often called secrets] by their teacher or mentor.

In the worlds of mysticism and esoteric study, this is purported to cause a fundamental shift within the person being initiated. The initiator, bearing a certain power or state, transfers this to the person being initiated. Symbolically this is a simultaneous death and rebirth, because not only is it a beginning, its also an ending of sorts as the student ascends to a new level.

Very often you would be given a new name, a magical name. One of the many reasons for that was to reinforce the change in your identity.

Fully initiated means devotion to the mystic, occult wisdom and contact with natural forces. It also brings with it the Fraternity and comradeship with the group or “family” you are initiated into. Because you don’t start off born with mystic, magic or psychic abilities – you have to learn and practice them. The training and guidance is there if you’re willing to do the work. Unfortunately more people read about esoteric study than practice. The real measure of a spiritual initiate is how they demonstrate it in real life, not their intellectual knowledge. It’s what you do that counts.

This was repeatedly stressed by Dion Fortune who lived from 1891 – 1946 [real name Violet Firth] – a member of The Hermetic Order Of The Golden Dawn [a magic organization formed in the 1880’s], prolific author, psychologist, Christian and psychic.

She recommended an Initiate should be living a normal life and not be closed off in a secret order. Remember where Obi Wan Kenobi lived? You don’t want to become the eccentric weirdo in the woods!

You also don’t want to be a “fair weather” devotee. You know, the type who practices religiously on Sundays, but lets charity, forgiveness and moral fortitude slip a little from Monday to Saturday!

An initiate’s mindset should be centered around the approach that he or she has been initiated into. So no matter where you are, who you’re with or what you’re doing, you always have the method’s philosophy in the back of your mind.

There are three Initiators in your path – the first great initiation begins with your birth, the second is from your teacher, the third and most important are the lessons you learn through your life experience and learning’s from Higher Self.

The real question is the issue of authority – who is in charge, and what their intentions are. This is often abused and therein lie all the horror stories you might have thought this article was about.

And “as within so without”. Be wary of the Initiate who has no money, dysfunctional relationships and emotional baggage. The outer signs of the effects are usually the symptoms of the inner causes. If a person is lacking in the everyday world, they probably lack in the esoteric world too.

Finally, know that many believe it takes three lifetimes to become an initiate. So the sooner you start the better!

This new year s resolve to be happy

As we all know, some of the most common New Year’s Resolutions are to lose weight, to stop smoking, to save money, and so on. Instead of resolving to do things that can cause you stress, this new year, why not resolve to be happy?

Find out what makes you happy

Take a few minutes to write down the things that make you happy. Is it your family? Your job? Taking time to golf, play piano, watch movies, or other leisure activities? Just focusing on what makes you happy could help you realize: are you not giving yourself enough time to be happy? Sometimes this relates directly to the amount of sleep that you get.

Find out what makes you unhappy

Are there things in your life that make you unhappy? Your boss? Your bills? There are any number of things in life that can make you stressed, angry, sad, or otherwise unhappy. Take a moment to write down things in your life that make you unhappy.

Pick a target

Look at the things in your life that make you unhappy. Choose one of them and resolve to fix that situation. If dealing with your in-laws makes you unhappy, let your spouse know that you won’t answer the phone when they call. Simply minimizing your interactions with things that stress you out is one way to solve things.

Another way to target things that makes you unhappy is to deal with the root cause. If you can’t stand the hour commute to work, then maybe it’s time to a) move closer to work, or b) get a new job. Don’t be afraid to try something big this year. Getting a new job might sound daunting, but it can improve all aspects of your life if you get a job that you like.

Go Big

Say that your job causes you a lot of stress. This could be because you are not well suited to your job, because of disagreements with coworkers, or because you feel that there are limited opportunities for advancement. Imagine how your life could be with a new job. You could make more money. When you come home from work, you would not take out your anger and stress on your family and friends. You might enjoy doing your job for once, which would make it more of a pleasure and less of a chore. These payoffs show that choosing to make a big change in life can be the way to go. Yes, finding a new job, or a new home, or a new boyfriend can all seem like terrible ordeals, but once they are over you will be in a better position. Instead of staying in a rut that gets you down constantly, this year could be your year to get out of that rut and spread your wings to fly.

The sentiment is summed up best by Empire Records: “I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.” Go out and make this year your best ever.